I was reading movie reviews when I first heard about the film War Room. My first thought was how I couldn't believe that a Christian movie about praying with a purpose could make it into mainstream theaters. But my second thought was, "Yes!"

Because even though the war room metaphor is not something I'd ever have come up with on my own, it still makes sense to me. When you want something you have to work hard at it, and working hard is easier when God is on your side. You have to feel like God is working with you in order to keep yourself going. You have to be able to think, "Me and God want this," not just, "I want this."

My prayer plan for getting a relationship back together is the kind of battle plan this movie is talking about. I haven't seen War Room yet but already I understand it. You want to get back with your ex... you're not sure how to do it... but God knows. You need to talk to Him about it. Get His guidance.

I wrote With God Behind You because I knew there had to be a lot of people who miss their ex, and want their life to be like it was, and want to pray to the Lord to make that happen, but don't know how. Don't know what to say. Never really had to pray for something so important before. I hope they go see this movie and see prayer in practice, and learn how prayer is more powerful than they ever imagined.

Letters of Apology: Examples of what to say to your girlfriend

Saying sorry to a girlfriend or ex girlfriend is something that's hard for a lot of guys. If you need help, take a look at this new series of sample letters for apologizing to a girlfriend:

• 
  
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for being drunk
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for being drunk: It's hard because usually, this isn't the first time something like this has happened.
• 
  
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for cheating on her
  
  Here's a sample apology letter to a girlfriend for cheating. Your letter can be a little longer than this, but don't write pages of details.
• 
  
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for not trusting her
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for not trusting her: 'I don't want to spend the rest of my life making excuses for being jealous.'
• 
  
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for hurting her feelings
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for hurting her feelings: You didn't really mean anything by it, but she overheard it and now it's a big deal.
• 
  
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for forgetting
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for forgetting: What she's really worried about is your reliability.

How to flirt with your ex

Here's the first part of Flirting with your ex: 10 tips on how to flirt with your ex, plus 7 mistakes to avoid, a new article at HelpGettingBackTogether.com

Flirting with your ex boyfriend or husband is almost like flirting with any other guy. The techniques are the same. But one important thing is different: your state of mind.

Usually, if you find yourself thinking about whether or not you should flirt with your ex, not to mention how to flirt with your ex, it means you want to get him back. You probably are obsessed with him, and still getting over your break up -- and that means there's a danger you could go overboard when you flirt.

So for you, because you're flirting with an ex and not just any regular guy, the "Don't overdo it" guideline becomes especially important.

Let's review the basics techniques for flirting with a guy...

(Read the full article)

Should I wish my ex a happy birthday?

Here is an excerpt from a new article on HelpGettingBackTogether.com:

Do I wish my ex a happy birthday, or not? Good question. I think the answer has to be based on the answer to a second question which you need to ask yourself: "Does my ex hate me?"

You probably have a pretty good idea of how your ex feels about you. If, when you're honest with yourself, you have to admit your ex hates you, then the answer is no, you should not wish your ex a happy birthday. In fact, you shouldn't communicate with your ex at all, until you have reason to think those hateful feelings have changed. Saying happy birthday to an ex who hates you and doesn't want to hear from you is not a way to accomplish getting back together, if that's what you're after.

Read the full text here, about whether or not you should wish your ex happy birthday: Should I wish my ex a happy birthday?

To call my ex, or not to call my ex?

Excerpt taken from a new article on HelpGettingBackTogether.com:

"Would you call that guy Dave, that you worked with two years ago, who still has that book he borrowed from you and now you need it back? Sure you would. So that tells you, if your ex has something of yours that you need to get back, it is okay to call."

Read the full text here, about whether or not it's okay to call your ex: To call my ex, or not to call my ex?

It's also available here: (offsite)

Sample Apology Letter to Ex

Just added another new article on HelpGettingBackTogether.com.

This one's all about writing an apology letter to your ex girlfriend or boyfriend.

It gives you an example of what to say and how to say it -- there's even a sample apology letter so you can see how it's done.

Get Your Ex Back After No Contact

Just added a new article on HelpGettingBackTogether.com.

This one's all about getting back your ex after you've maintained a period of no contact.

It gives a list of steps you can take to initiate contact with your ex, without bringing along all the baggage from your prior failed relationship.

Apology letter to ex after a breakup

I wish there were more sample letters like this out there. It's hard to figure out what you want to say to your ex, especially when you want to get back together.

Even harder, if you've been a little out of control -- like if you've been texting too often, or calling or driving by. You need to put a stop to all of that, and go NC (no contact) for a while until you're thinking straight again.

And you certainly need to apologize to your ex.

Even if you don't have anything to apologize for (and, well, are you sure about that?) a letter similar to this is still a good idea, to show that you're on board with breaking up. You won't get your ex back if you resist accepting the fact that you got dumped, no matter how unfair it seems.

But... to have to compose a letter when your head's a mess isn't easy. I think this example letter to an ex would be good for most breakup circumstances. You might have to change some parts, but it's a good start.

-- Kit.

Letter of Apology to an Ex Lover - What to Say and How to Say It

By Dan K. Jenkins

When you look for advice on the internet about how to get your ex back, you discover that step one is to write a letter.

And you learn that it has to be a handwritten letter -- not typed, and not an email.

The purpose of the letter is to let your ex know you're sorry for whatever you did, and that you agree that breaking up is a good idea. This letter sets the stage for everything you'll be doing afterwards, to try to get back together.

Why apologize in writing?

A hand-written letter, sent in a hand-addressed envelope, is the most personal form of delayed communication you can use.

Spoken communication, in person or over the phone, is too immediate. With immediate communication, some response is required -- but your ex might feel threatened, or feel like there's not enough time to think of the right response.

Text messages and email are too casual. Even a typed or printed letter feels distant, compared to the intimacy of a handwritten letter you took the time to pen yourself. Your letter to your ex absolutely must be written by hand, and written on paper, not on a card. A card is, once again, too casual.

When to apologize?

Send your letter as soon as possible, but be sure to wait until after you have thought about your situation, and think you understand what your ex is feeling.

While you compose your letter, you should feel regret, not anger. If you are still angry, then it is too soon to write a letter of apology. It is too soon to say you agree with the breakup.

You need to be certain about what you are apologizing FOR. For example:

• Did you hurt someone's feelings?



• Is someone angry at you?



• Is someone afraid of you?



• Are you ashamed of something you said or did?



• Did you lie, steal, or cheat?



• Did you forget something important?

Even if it was an accident, you should apologize. Even if it felt justified at the time, you should apologize. Even if you know that in the same circumstances, you would do the same thing again -- you still ought to apologize.

What should you say in your letter?

Your letter of apology to your lover needs to communicate two things: That you are sorry for whatever you did that caused your breakup, and that you agree that breaking up is a good idea.

Don't spend too much time explaining why you did what you did. It won't help, especially if it was a repeat occurrence, or if you did it on purpose.

Don't be funny, and don't be crude or obscene.

Don't ask for an acknowledgement -- no, "Let me know if you got this" or anything like that. You should be prepared not to hear back.

Example apology letter

Here is a sample letter to an ex girlfriend...

Dear Amy,

I have been thinking a lot about how I hurt you, and I want to say I'm sorry. I understand why you don't want to be with me any more. I agree it is a good idea.

Being away from you is hard on me, but I guess that after time goes by I won't miss you so much. I hope, anyway, because I would hate to feel like this forever.

I know it was the last straw. I know you think you can't trust me any more, after what I did. But please believe my apology. You mean more to me than anyone else does. You are the one I love.

Maybe after you have had some time away from me, you will want to talk to me again. If you ever need me, I will be there for you.

Love,
Kevin


Learn more about getting back together with your ex. Visit The Online Guide to Getting Back Together and find advice from experts on how to get your ex to come back to you.

This online guide will also lead you to professionally-written books with step-by-step instructions for getting back together with an ex.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dan_K._Jenkins
http://EzineArticles.com/?Letter-of-Apology-to-an-Ex-Lover---What-to-Say-and-How-to-Say-It&id=2173025

Series: Communicating with your ex -- Part 3

The third part in this 3-part series pertains to email communication.

Again, although it addresses divorced parents, the wisdom within applies to anyone in danger of sending an overly-emotional email to an ex.

If you're wanting to get your ex back, you need to be careful how you communicate by email. You want to send an agreeable message, not a confrontational one. -- Kit.

Three Email Communication Mistakes That Will Inflame Conflict Between Divorced Couples

By Mary Wollard

More and more, communication between divorced parents occurs by email. This can be an effective way to reduce conflict between parents. If you commit one or more of these three common email mistakes, however, you might create or heighten conflict. What are these common email communication mistakes, and how you can fix them to reduce conflict with the other parent?

Mistake #1 - USING TOO MANY CAPS

One of the first guidelines of email etiquette is not to type words in all capital letters, because that is akin to shouting. When I first heard that, I didn't really believe it. That was until email became part of my all-day, every-day life, and then I received a message that was written mostly in caps.

It just set me on edge, like fingernails on a blackboard (do people even remember that sound anymore?). After that I started paying closer attention to emails, not just to me, but between my clients.

I found that the use of caps in emails between high-conflict parents triggers anger reactions. The caps don't add anything of substance to the communication and cause the communications to quickly deteriorate. Once the anger kicks in, effective communication really becomes impossible.

If you find yourself moved to use caps in your email, ask yourself what you are trying to achieve. Then, find some other way to communicate that.

Mistake #2 - Sarcasm and humor

When we talk to someone, our words are only a part of the communication. We use hand gestures; raise an eyebrow; make our voice higher or lower, louder or softer; laugh; smile; or frown. All of these things convey our true meaning to the person we're talking to.

When you write an email, all of these nuances are gone and you are left only with the raw words of your message. In your own mind, you are often adding all of those hand gestures, facial expressions and intonations. The problem is that the person reading your email can't see into your mind. Sarcasm and humor are both highly dependent on extraneous visual and auditory cues. Since these aren't available in writing, your attempts at sarcasm and humor in email will likely fail or be misconstrued.

Those cute little emoticons (the smiling, laughing, winking, or sad faces) people add to their email weren't just created by people with way too much time on their hands. They are an effort to show the spirit of the words in the email so the receiver can better understand what's being said. Without something like that, the receiver has no way of knowing your intentions.

If your relationship with the other parent is stressed and full of conflict, your best practice is to leave attempts at sarcasm and humor out of your email.

Mistake #3 - Sending too soon

During a heated exchange, you may type something you would never want someone else to see. When you communicate by email, you are putting your angry thoughts into writing and you make it possible for anyone - including your children - to witness that anger long after you've cooled down.

A good rule of thumb is to pause before you send any message that you feel emotionally charged about. Stand up and walk away from the computer for a few minutes or even a few hours. When you come back, make sure that the message you're sending is something you are ok with being in print.

I can't stress enough the powerful effect communication has on the level of conflict in your relationship with the other parent. Creating healthy new patterns of communication can break the destructive cycle of conflict and allow both parents to focus on building good relationships with their children.

© 2009, Mary Wollard, J.D., Family Solutions Center, LLC


Mary A. Wollard, JD, is an attorney, mediator, and arbitrator with over 20 years experience in solving the legal issues of divorce, parenting (custody), marital property and support. In addition to helping families through mediation and arbitration, Ms. Wollard provides parenting coordination and decision-making services to families when on-going conflict prevents them from fully implementing their parenting plan after divorce. Visit http://www.cofamilysolutions.com/downloads.htm for free downloadable worksheets you can use to organize your family's transition.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mary_Wollard
http://EzineArticles.com/?Three-Email-Communication-Mistakes-That-Will-Inflame-Conflict-Between-Divorced-Couples&id=2085050

Series: Communicating with your ex -- Part 2

This is the second article in a 3-part series on communicating with an ex.

It is targeted toward broken relationships where children are in the picture, but I think the advice applies to anyone who ends up communicating with an ex, for whatever reason -- including someone who wants to get an ex back.

After a breakup, when emotions are high and every past argument feels like it happened only yesterday, it's easy to find yourself using hurtful words when you talk to your ex. You yell, you accuse, you insult. You say things you don't mean to say, because the way you see it, you were hurt first.

But it doesn't have to be that way. If you think first, and plan ahead for what NOT to say, you can communicate successfully with your ex.

And if you're trying to get your ex back, good communication is essential. -- Kit

Minimize Conflict During Divorce by Eliminating "Fighting Words" in Your Communications

By Mary Wollard

There are words and phrases that are so provocative that they are bound to elicit a sharp response from the target. In fact, they're usually intended to. When you describe someone with labels such as "liar," "selfish," "abusive," "evil" and "uncaring," these are "fighting words."

If you're peppering your communication with these kinds of words when you speak with your ex or soon-to-be-ex, it's time to stop. Even when you do have a valid point to make, these words will not help you make it.

Let's look at an example of communication using these fighting words:

Parent A: "Sally is scared to go to your house because you make her go to bed without a nightlight. This is just another example of how abusive you are and how you don't care about your child at all."

Parent B: "You are such a liar. Sally loves to come over here, but she's afraid to let you know it. When will you stop trying to turn Sally against me and accept that she loves me? If you weren't so selfish, maybe Sally wouldn't have to lie to you about her time here."

This conversation between Parent A and Parent B will likely go on for some time, getting louder and more hostile. No matter which parent Sally is with at the time of the conversation, she will get an earful, even if the parents think she's asleep or in another room at the time. The conversation will not accomplish anything other than to frighten and upset Sally.

When you are tempted to use fighting words, stop to think what the issue really is. In the example above, Parent A is concerned about the lack of a nightlight at the other house. Rather than send the message above, Parent A might have said, "I just wanted to let you know that Sally has gotten used to sleeping with a nightlight on. I'm guessing she'll give it up at some point, but for now, she's really more comfortable with one on at night. Having a nightlight at both houses will probably help make the transition between houses easier for her."

Parent B, on the other hand, feels accused of being a bad parent and wants to fight off claims of being abusive or selfish. Instead of reacting to the words Parent A used, Parent B could have responded to the concern. Here is a response that would have been more helpful: "Thank you for your email, I will talk to Sally about the nightlight when she's here next. I didn't realize it was so important to her."

Remember, Mum's the word when it comes to fighting words. Don't use them and By addressing the underlying issue without using provocative language, divorcing parents can reduce the conflict between them and focus on positive parenting for their children.

© 2009, Mary Wollard, J.D., Family Solutions Center, LLC


Mary A. Wollard, JD, is an attorney, mediator, and arbitrator with over 20 years experience in solving the legal issues of divorce, parenting (custody), marital property and support. In addition to helping families through mediation and arbitration, Ms. Wollard provides parenting coordination and decision-making services to families when on-going conflict prevents them from fully implementing their parenting plan after divorce. Visit http://www.cofamilysolutions.com/downloads.htm for free downloadable worksheets you can use to organize your family's transition.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mary_Wollard
http://EzineArticles.com/?Minimize-Conflict-During-Divorce-by-Eliminating-Fighting-Words-in-Your-Communications&id=2055520

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Series continues with Part 3.

Series: Communicating with your ex -- Part 1

I've been thinking lately about how people communicate with their exes.

For the most part, people don't. Exceptions are when they work together, have classes together, go to church together, etc.

Another exception is when one of the partners wants to get back together. Usually, if someone wants to get an ex back, there will be communication. In fact, there may be all too much communication.

The last exception arises when a couple has children. Here is an article I found, about communicating in that situation. -- Kit.

Communicating With Your Ex - Letting Go of the Last Word

By Mary Wollard

You probably all have someone in your family who has to have the last word in any discussion or argument. Maybe your whole family is like this, making family get-togethers challenging at best. In the case of email, this can lead to back-and-forth messages that belabor a subject way longer than necessary, with each new message escalating the conflict higher and higher.

If you are someone who needs to have the last word and your communications with your ex are difficult, be aware that this is only adding to the conflict. It will take great restraint on your part to break the pattern. After all, it took a long time to cultivate the need to have the last word and it will take a long time to feel comfortable not having the last word. The only way to break the cycle is to just resist the urge to say one more thing.

Start with a conversation that you feel neutral about, and just try not responding to the last thing the other person said. As you become more comfortable with this in relatively unimportant conversations, then you can move on to practicing in areas that are more important. Work slowly, but work at it constantly. It will be hard work because this is a very hard habit to break, but the rewards will be great.

If it is the other parent who needs the last word, know that it is not a sign of weakness on your part to let him or her have it. Know that this communication pattern in the other person started way before you ever came into the picture and likely affects every relationship they have. But you can still take responsibility for your part in these never-ending discussions.

Even if the other person hasn't yet done the work necessary to end this communication merry-go-round, you can. If you follow the steps above, the cycle will stop. Start with a subject that is not highly charged, and just let the conversation go when you have said what you have to say.

The important thing is to make the decision to break this communication cycle. If you do, I guarantee you will feel more powerful in the relationship, not less powerful.

© 2009, Mary Wollard, J.D., Family Solutions Center, LLC

Mary A. Wollard, JD, is an attorney, mediator, and arbitrator with over 20 years experience in solving the legal issues of divorce, parenting (custody), marital property and support. In addition to helping families through mediation and arbitration, Ms. Wollard provides parenting coordination and decision-making services to families when on-going conflict prevents them from fully implementing their parenting plan after divorce. Visit http://www.cofamilysolutions.com/downloads.htm for free downloadable worksheets you can use to organize your family's transition.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mary_Wollard
http://EzineArticles.com/?Communicating-With-Your-Ex---Letting-Go-of-the-Last-Word&id=2193378

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Series continues with Part 2 and Part 3.